Here is a simple yet powerful exercise designed to deepen your relationship with your body, and allow the body to open to its natural self-regenerative healing abilities.   

Our body is a temple.  Our body is a precious gift.  Our body holds the memories, stories, dreams for our lives.  Without this body, where would we be?  Think about it.   This part of us we use and sometimes abuse is pretty darn important.  You can always find a new place to work, a new home, even a new spouse or new way of life, but wherever you go, you can’t run from this body.  You can’t trade it in for a new one.  Raise your hand if you have ever treated your car, your house, your job better than this body.  Wow, that’s a lot of raised hands!

A brief experiment for you:  Speaking of hands, have you ever stopped and looked at the intricacies, the magical nature of this small part of us, these hands?  The typing, writing, holding, sign language, dancing, caressing, loving, creating we do with these hands?  We can live without them, but life is so much richer for having them.

Try this for 1 full minute right now.  I know if you are reading this you have 1 minute to spare for yourself.  You deserve it, yes you do!  Pause and look closely at your hands, the shape, shading, color of the skin.  Massage each hand with the other.  Do this consciously, slowly, making sure each part gets explored, touched, acknowledged, each finger, nail, pad, palm, knuckle, wrinkle.  What did you experience?  Did you notice what naturally happened with your breath, your emotional body, your stress levels?

The Science of it:  Physically, when we nurture ourselves in this simple way, we activate what is called the relaxation response, or what Integrative Medicine calls the Theta Healing system.  Body and mind enter a state of rest where amazing hormones such as Oxcytocin get the space and time to do their magic: calm the sympathetic (fight or flight) nervous system and decrease the autoimmune responses where our body attacks itself.  What emotionally follows from this wash of healing hormones are feelings of connection, affection, love and calm.  That’s right, our simple 1 minute massage can heal us and deepen our connection with ourselves.  And it is free!

The Invitation:  Can you imagine what would happen if you did this with your whole body?  And can you imagine if you did this not once but several times a week or even daily?   I feel relaxed and healed just thinking about it!  So here is the challenge for you:

• Every day for 1 week after your shower, find a quiet and private spot to stand.
• Light a candle to ritualize the experience.
• Have your favorite body lotion or oil ready.
• Remember to breathe deeply throughout this entire process.
• Take a deep breath, and start with your feet and toes.  Massage yourself while you say “Thank you feet, thank you toes.  Thank you for… (list whatever comes to mind for you, such as:  Thank you for holding me up in all the places we have hiked, all the dancing, all the yoga.  Thank you for all the ways you have flirted with my lover.  Thank you for all the punishment you took for the long hours of standing work.)
• Take another deep breath and say “I love you feet and toes.”
• Do the ankles, then the calves and shins, the knees, thighs, buttocks, hips…all the way to fingertips and top of head.  At the torso express gratitude for all the systems of the body – reproductive, digestive, cardiovascular, endocrine…  At the head, the eyes, ears, tongue, lips, brain.

Can you see that we have so much to be thankful for?    I use this exercise occasionally when I am sick, healing from an injury, or when I notice I am being critical of my body in any way.  I’m going to commit to doing this daily, starting today.  I would love to have you join me and then to hear your stories.  Comment below – your sharing will inspire others.

Looking forward to hearing from the more relaxed, glowing, renewed you!

From my grateful, magical body to yours,

Toi Lynn

On Being Naked:  Ok, my friends.  In order to make my point here, I have to reveal it all.  Stand naked before you, so to speak.  So, here we go.  About 14 years ago I was invited to my first clothing optional retreat center by my dear group of heart sisters.  This somewhat shy, raised in conservative West Texas girl was intrigued but appalled.  You mean my body is going to be seen by anyone, everyone?  This body I hide even from my own mother and sisters?  No way, Jose….  But I went anyway.  My first day at Orr Hotsprings was eye opening, literally.  In the hot tub, near the pool, at the saunas I kept my eyes averted from others to make sure they knew I was not staring.  I was wearing a little sun dress while everyone else was buck naked, so I felt comfy in my covered state.  But as I began to peak around I saw something beautiful.  People of all sizes, shapes, colors, ages, children and families… and far from feeling disgust, I began to enjoy the miraculous nature of our bodies.   They all looked so beautiful to me, as if a distorting filter had been removed from my eyes.

Shame and Me:  The next morning I woke up early enough to be by myself in a dry sauna.  Walked up to the sauna, took a deep breath, slipped off my sun dress, opened the door and… had to make a choice.  Do I leave right now or do I sit down with these 5 other silent people I do not know?  All I could think was My mother would kill me!  My mother would kill me!  But she was not there, so I chose to walk in and be with my shame.  She sat right there with me.  “You are ugly.  You are too fat.  You are so bad for being naked.  You should be ashamed.  This is wrong.  YOU are wrong.”  I listened to her for a few minutes, then began to breathe in the silence in the room.  I took a glance around me and saw people being in their own bliss and no one looking at anyone.  I was the only one looking at me.  That was the Eureka! moment.  I am the one looking at me with a distorted filter.  I cause my own shame.  I am my own worst critic.  I am my own abuser.  And I have the power to change my story, my perception of the world and how I treat myself.  Oh the freedom of that moment!

Who Abuses Who?:  By now you most likely have read the op-ed by Ashley Judd as she fights back against the denigration of women through the media and societal obsession with women’s bodies.  The part of her courageous and pointed sharing that jumped out at me was this:

“Patriarchy is not men. Patriarchy is a system in which both women and men participate. It privileges, inter alia, the interests of boys and men over the bodily integrity, autonomy, and dignity of girls and women. It is subtle, insidious, and never more dangerous than when women passionately deny that they themselves are engaging in it. This abnormal obsession with women’s faces and bodies has become so normal that we (I include myself at times—I absolutely fall for it still) have internalized patriarchy almost seamlessly. We are unable at times to identify ourselves as our own denigrating abusers, or as abusing other girls and women.”   ~ Ashley Judd

Amen, sister!  We are our own abusers, as well as being the ones we have been waiting for to rescue us from this abuse.  But men still hold the power and set the rules.  Yes, men have the majority of political, religious and economic power worldwide.  Yes, women in many countries are still viewed as property.  Yes, women are subjugated to abuse in so many ways.  And yes, men are too.  But what about honoring cultural beliefs?  Just because a belief has been supported by a culture for centuries does not mean it is healthy, good for a society that supports it or is for the highest good of everyone on this planet.  But we have come so far.  Yes, that is true, but not enough.  Until women are treated as equals, and treat themselves as equals, this world will continue to turn on an axis of pain created by abuse of power to get what we want regardless of the collective best result for all.  I am more powerful than you, therefore I get to control the game, because I can, and because I can it must mean I am more worthy.    We are controlled by a collective illusion that worth is determined by 1) who wins in various competitions, including war 2) who has the most money 3) who looks the best.  This is the nature of insanity that brings tremendous pain to all beings on this planet.

The Invitation:  I invite you to reclaim your body as a sacred temple.  Not as a tool to dictate your worth.  Cease to compare your body to others bodies.  Stop the endless comparing of who you are now to what you were when you were younger.  Aging means we are living.  The alternative is final.  And acknowledge when you play the role of your own abuser.  Be completely honest with yourself, and have compassion for the role you have played in this perpetuation of female denigration worldwide.  Yes, I said worldwide.  This will sound heavy, but each time you criticize yourself, that fat around your belly, that grey in your hair, those legs that are “too short” or those flat breasts in a world that glorifies inflated mammary glands (oh do NOT get me started on that one) you are holding on to a thread that ties into this global war on women.  Because you are at war with yourself.

It starts with each of us.  Loving ourselves as we are, and loving other women and men as they are in all their imperfections that make us so beautiful.   Some of our deepest suffering in the world is caused by not seeing what is beautiful, not loving what is.  So, open your eyes and see the beauty before you.  I am beautiful.  You are beautiful.  We are all so beautiful.

From my shameless heart to yours,

Toi Lynn

Sunflower Petals of Forgiveness Ritual, Wild Woman Circle

As I write to you, I’m here at home sitting at my love desk (Really, it is a glass table my husband Jordan bought for me that has the word “love” etched in multiple languages all over it), door wide open to blue sky, chilly breezes and birds singing ecstatically to the spring.

It’s been an interesting past 2 weeks since my birthday Equinox rituals of offering petals of forgiveness to the ocean and the planting of seed/prayers on Mt. Tham.  Many of the sunflower petals I threw had to do with trust. Maybe you can relate to at least one of these:

I forgive myself for not trusting myself, my choices, my intuition, my callings in my life. 

I forgive myself for not trusting the flow of my life. 

I forgive myself for not trusting love, and buying into fear. 

I release the thought I have to do this all alone. 

I release the fear of being seeing completely, in ALL my colors. 

I release the thought it is not safe to be fully awake and powerful. 

The visioning seeds/prayers had the same theme, of asking the universe to create the space and change in my life that allows me to really live into my highest life purpose, and a promise given that I would trust what comes my way.

Be careful what you wish for, as you just might get it.  The universe has responded with a fiery “Ok, you want change?  I’ll give you change.”   Tuesday I got a call that upended my world and knocked me flat for a moment.  Normally I would just pick myself up and begin to work like crazy to fix the problem, make things better.  So I decided to do the opposite.  I gave myself a gift of a full day of falling. I cried and allowed myself to feel all my feelings and to be supported by dear friends in my fear, sadness and despondency.  Even though I felt “weak” I knew that in order to claim my power I needed to surrender.  I cleared my calender for the week to meditate, journal, and become more present to myself, my husband and my life.  Trusting my instincts, I have continued what I started a few weeks ago, clearing like crazy.  Clearing out old wounds of pain.  Clearing out tears I have not cried that needed to be released for my cleansing.  Clearing out negative beliefs and stories.  Clearing out my physical body and physical space.  Clearing to make room for what is to come.

I have no idea what is to come, but I can tell you that while yesterday was a day where I just wanted to give it up and fall on the floor in a puddle of mush, today I feel filled with hope, potential and yes, trust.  I wonder if this is what the caterpillar feels like just before they become what they are meant to be?  Some caterpillars actually do break down into a gooey glob before their transformation into beauty.

So here is my commitment to myself and to you:  I will answer the call to trust.  I will allow myself the space to be me and to become even more me.  I will practice trust daily, step by step, even breath by breath if I need to.   Come join me.  As French author Anais Nin wrote: “The day will come when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”

Sending you a virtual bouquet of flowers, each one reminding you of your true inner beauty and essence blossoming into life.

BTW, about the pic above:  A warm Thank you! to the women who came to the first of many to come Wild Woman Circles.  We shared, we cried, we danced and laughed, cleared out old stuff with the sunflower forgiveness ritual and created a safe, sacred place for our healing and growth.  Powerful spirit sisters, I am so excited to see where we go! Attached is the picture from our ritual.  For those who were not with us, since we could not travel to mama ocean, we brought her to us.  Such a sweet release it was!

Much love,

Toi Lynn

Good morning, beautiful ones.  For all of you a bouquet of blessings on this powerful week of planting seeds.  This is a powerful week for planting intentions!  Tuesday was Spring Equinox (and my birthday!), as well as the Persian New Year.  Saale No Mobaarak!  Today is a New Moon, also a perfect planting of intention time.  And, for those that love astrology,  we are currently in Mercury Retrograde, where the powerhouse of change, Mercury, steps back to allow room for contemplation and redirection of our life purpose. 

About these images I am sharing.  To see all of them go here and Breathe In the images peace and transformation.  May they spark something within you that needs to be fed today.  For those coming tonight to the Wild Woman Circle, we will do these rituals and well as some powerful witnessing of our unfolding. 

My Equinox Birthday:  I took off Tuesday to celebrate my birthday and Equinox by doing 2 rituals for transformation.  I first take Bodhi to Chrissy Field to play for a while as a thank you to her for being my companion for the day.  We then headed through Sausolito just exploring and found this magical art car that asked us to “Just Believe.”  Seemed perfect.  Then we up to to top of the Marin Headlands for a change of perspective.  The first ritual was what I call Petals of Peace, at Muir Beach, where I offered Sun Flower petals to mama ocean to release negative behaviors, toxins and thoughts.  I then offered Ho’oponopono, Hawaiian prayers of personal responsibility and forgiveness.  After the cleansing, went to the top of Mt. Tham overlooking the ocean, with views to forever and a meadow just waiting to burst into life with flowers, tossed indigenous poppy seeds of intention and of gratitude.  Then came back to SF for a dinner of oysters and beer with my beloved Jordan.  Needless to say, I was one happy puppy myself by the end of the day.

From my blossoming heart to yours,

Toi Lynn 

Freed-Om – Noun.  1.  A state of being derived from a deep connection with the divine, all-that-is or your “whatever,” that awakens intuition, creativity and clarity.
2.  A way of life that uses living in the Now combined with What If as portals to remembering ones authentic, wild nature and life purpose.  This usually leads to radical transformation for the betterment of all.

*****(BTW, to experience Freed-OM for yourself sooner as opposed to later, come to the Wild Women’s Circle Thursday Eve March 22nd or  

Day of retreat:  Body, Breath & Being on Saturday March 24th).*****

First, here is what NOT to do to find Freed-Om:

1.  Take as little “me” time as possible.

2.  Don’t engage in activities you love. Doing things you love may make you joyful, and that is a temporary state, so why try?

3.  Never, ever, EVER be alone.

4.  Surround yourself with people who remind you that not everyone is a star and you are not meant to shine.

5.  Solidify this belief by consistently comparing yourself to others and to an image of what you were or what you think you should be.

6.  Surround yourself with noise, and lots of it.  Non-stop and cacophonous is best.

7.  Define yourself by the roles you play in others lives.

8.  Better yet, live your life defined by others rules.

9.  Be conventional.  Follow tradition.  We all know that what worked in the past worked for a reason, right?

10.  Be ordinary.  Drawing attention to yourself is dangerous, as it raises the risk of being fully seen.

11.  When you have a dream or vision for something in your life, want it really, really badly.

12.  Think about it really, really hard.

13. Repeat this mantra:  “This or nothing else.”

14. Give it a time frame.  When the time is up, throw a temper tantrum.  That’ll show um.

15. Be a really, really good girl.

To learn what to do instead, see steps 1 – 10 for finding Freed-Om in the next 2 posts.